My take, for what it's worth, as someone who doesn't know you:
Thanks for the feedback!
I'd have taken that job in a heartbeat. Income, responsibility, self-respect, possibly meeting the future mother of your children ... That's what most men need.
Sure, I do understand that point of view. But my personal situation happens to be a little bit different;
I already do have an income, responsibility and self-respect. For years I've been self-employed. This year I've sustained myself doing massage, coding custom office solutions, and doing basic lumberjack and house renovation work for my neighbours. But this autumn I've seen decrease in those job opportunities, so my question is if I'd like to seek more odd jobs, or to apply for a full-time job, or if I should pursue my own creative ideas with indie game development. Personally, my self-respect isn't tied to the amount of money I earn, but there is a connection, still. I feel that pursuing my own project plans also makes me feel more fulfilled. Applying for a full-time job would've felt a bit like "Oh, I need to work for others for my own plans are probably just going to fail." So, from the self-respect point of view I'm all willing to keep on being a starving artist
My son is already 27 years old. Sure, those were great times in my life when my son was smaller. But now I have a 'been-there-done-that' feeling, having absolutely no intention to having more kids. Instead, I enjoy this mid-life freedom.
Therapy doesn't cure depression. It makes it worse because you spend hours dwelling on your problems ad infinitum.
Where does that come from? Is it your personal experience? If so, feel free to send me a personal message if you wish to discuss in private.
I have more than 20 years of experience with different methods of therapy. Yes, there are those kinds which aren't always that helpful. But I've been lucky to find the professionals I like to work with, so that the therapeutic process has been focused on the solutions, instead of dwelling on the problems. I know it might be deeply frustrating if ones first experiences with therapy are not good. But I encourage people to keep on seeking. For finding a good therapist can be of great help.
This hypno-gal seems like she might be exploiting your loneliness and her going rate seems awfully high for someone who is having trouble paying the bills.
I do understand that kind of concern. But don't worry; that hypno-gal is my personal friend. She knows my situation and offered to work with me for free. I don't have therapy bills to pay. But I was struggling with winter tyres for the car, and with replacing the water pump in my dwell.
(Also, in the beginning you said you don't know me. And then you assume I might be suffering from loneliness. I have no idea where does that come from, did I write so? Or is it just an assumption you are making based on what?)
If you're not obsessed with a game concept that you MUST bring to fruition, you probably shouldn't. The process shouldn't be: My dream is to be an indie game developer, now what game should I develop? The process should be: This game that doesn't exist yet is the most amazing idea I've ever had and I cannot rest until I bring it into reality.
The story with not applying for a full-time job was supposed to illustrate that idea. That my desire with indie game development has reached such an level that I'm willing to starving artist to make my projects become true. And, in my case it is not about having the most amazing idea ever - the question has been that I have half a dozen of ideas I like, and then because of my depression-like symptoms I've had trouble picking just an one idea to persistently focus on. Now, with the great help of therapy, friends and other therapeutic processes I finally enjoy a sense of inner clarity and focus. I have chosen one idea to focus on. Sure, it remains to be seen if anyone else will like my idea
So, I'll keep on doing the starving artist thing until I have enough of a demo to probe the possible audience reception.